somedays aren’t yours at all

i was sitting at my typewriter this evening, because sometimes i have nothing to write but i want desperately to type and the computer just ain’t cutting it. so, as is my usual method, i just began to type.
(i am never able to really explain my writing process well to other people. i say, i just write, and they say, oh, you mean whatever comes to mind? no, that’s not what i mean. i mean i sit down. and i start typing and i don’t think about what i’m typing, it just comes and i just write, and then i just stop, and read over what i’ve written, and usually i have no idea where it came from but it tends to be my more truthful stuff. there is no thinking involved, at least not in the sense that i generally think. i feel like this is the exact opposite of talent, since it is largely plotless nonsense, but i love doing it anyway.)
so tonight, i noticed i was typing up things i wanted to do someday. they were all utterly trivial and not life changing in the slightest, but there you go.

~~~

someday i will have a room or shed or tree house that is devoted entirely to splatter painting. i feel like this is one of those few things that are totally, wholly good & pure.

someday i will spend an entire day thinking about the world. nothing in particular. just things. clothespins & space & being & turtles & existence & whatever else, just because i feel like i under-appreciate things. maybe i will make national universe day a thing. a day centered around just thought about how the world is great, even though i tend to believe it isn’t (I AM WRONG.)

someday i will freeze an entire jar of marshmallow fluff, batter it, and deep fry it. i will not eat it because i will also be vegetarian, but i will give it to some person who will think is it effing brilliant, just like i do.

someday i will have a plant. i will not kill it. maybe i will read to it, like in that book a wind in the door, where calvin says he had his very own corner in his library where he read books to a plant. i don’t know if my desire to do this is so much a nurturing love of greenery or just the deeply rooted adoration i have had for calvin o’keefe since i was eight years old.

someday i will master the art of reading aloud well. to me this sounds even more difficult than learning how to sing, which is something i’m not even going to bother to put on this list.

someday i will remember to celebrate towel day.

someday i will learn how to make excellent cheesecake.

~~~

what are you going to do, someday?

(also- i found this page on wikipedia and for some reason it struck me as MASSIVELY funny that there is this entire gigantic universe, and in it there’s a planet called earth, with a country called america, with a city called chandler, with a house with a me in it, and at this moment i get to experience this bizarre phenomenon called life, and what am i doing with it? i’m sitting at a computer reading an extensive article on towels and their role in popular culture.)

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “somedays aren’t yours at all

  1. Q

    You could make vegetarian marshmallow fluff and deep fry that for yourself. (Apparently they can make gelatin out of seaweed––who knew?)

  2. “One day, I will be what I want to be.
    One day, I will be a bird, and will snatch my being out of my nothingness.

    The more my wings burn, the more I near the truth and arise from the ashes.
    I am the dreamer’s speech, having forsaken body and soul
    to continue my first journey to what set me on fire and vanished:
    The Meaning. I am absence. The pursuit of heaven.

    One day, I will be what I want to be.
    One day, I will be a poet. Water will depend on my vision.
    My language will be a metaphor for metaphor.”

    That’s Mr. Darwish (presented his words in my mind as I read yours), but I? Someday I will wander a fascinating city from sunset to sunrise, and be free in the dark and the emptiness. And someday I will dance reels and slip jigs again.

    p.s. Q but then it’s not called gelatin, because gelatin is ontologically non-vegetarian and disGROSSting.

  3. quinn- i’m trying to decide if i find actual gelatin or seaweed more repellent.

    holly- that is lovely. and do you plan to do both at the same time?

  4. definitely dancing in the urban all-nighter, but probably not Irish.

  5. im no longer entirely sure the route through which i got here, but the towels made me laught out loud.
    we are all blessed walking miracles and nutty as little fruit cakes.

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