dissolving

you know some days i just really want to shake you, you’re so delusional. stop pretending this is normal. wake up! this isn’t cute, this isn’t sweet, this isn’t ‘too funny.’

this is a disease. this is losing it. this is losing everything. have you ever even looked at her, really looked at her? if you had, you wouldn’t be able to laugh like this. you would see a before and after photo, but each photo would be so old and stained you wouldn’t even be able to tell who it was without a pair of vintage glasses, the kind her mother wore that are cased in glass and covered in dust today because no one has the time to clean them anymore. no one has the time. even i don’t have enough time to fix this, because this can’t be fixed. when i am eighty something and can’t remember my own grandfather’s name, i hope to god no one tells me i am too funny. because that will not even be me. and when you can’t remember even yourself, what is there left?

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