Monthly Archives: September 2009

About the girl who is currently trapped in my heart

Over the past few weeks, my love for a certain character has been growing deeper. She’s not the main character of Laughing in Midair, but she’s very, very close to my heart. She seems to have more life to me than any of my other characters, and there’s a connection with her that’s not there for Emmaline all the time. I find her easier and easier to write as Emmaline gets more and more difficult. She’s the girl I want to know more about, the girl I want to have her chance to shine.

Alexis Marie Prentiss (more commonly referred to in Laughing in Midair as Lexi) was made as a combination of several friends. I didn’t realize it as I was writing her all the time, but I see I was basing a lot of her on my friends Taylor and an unnamed in particular. I especially included Taylor’s love of dance in her (something that is not included in the story as of yet, but I make sure I include when I am working on her by herself, outside of the novel. I firmly believe that all characters need an entire back story, no matter how minor their role is.), her lightheartedness,  and, of course, her perfect hair that her best friend is extremely jealous of. But while Taylor’s hair is longer, and a gorgeous reddish brown with blond highlights, Lexi’s hair is a cross between the color of straw and a DAFFODIL!!!!, and styled in a short pixie cut (and yes, I wrote her with a pixie BEFORE I cut mine in such a style) that I think suited her better. As for my other unnamed friend, I think I incorporated her laugh, eyes, bubbly but down to earth personality, and, yes, her sarcasm. But there are hints of other people in her, too. She has my baby sister’s endless energy and creativity, as well as her knack for making up very imaginative, funny stories that generally appear to have no point whatsoever. One person she reminds me of is my friend Christina- Lexi is loved by everyone and everyone knows how beautiful she is, but she has a hard time seeing it. It kind of ticks me off in the story, as it does in real life. I also firmly believe everyone is beautiful, and not just on the inside.

And, of course, Erin and Holly. Where else would she get her love of poetry on a background of Arizona sky, or her extreme randomness and happymakingness?

However, she is largely her own self. I have never met anyone else who can make spaghetti sauce JUST right, and a lot of her is quite frankly who I always wished I was. She’s outgoing and enthusiastic. She’s an interesting peron, and I feel like there is no end of her surprises, even though I think I know her inside and out.

And, of course, all characters have some likeness to their creator. She’s inherited my love of writing on the soles of her feet, and like me tends to feel like she’s drowning in the places she loves the most. She wants to be somewhere unsafe, even though she still cares about her home. In short, I think she’s a little of us all, in ways.

Yes, I think I’ve made her a little too perfect. I have a hard time drawing the line when it comes to being able to make my own being. I want her to be happy, faultless, someone EVERYONE loves. I need to give her faults, and I’m working on that. But I enjoy her so much. Lexi is someone I want to explore more in depth. Who knows… maybe she’ll get her own novel someday.



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Okay, so I’m only on chapter 16 of Forest Born so I might not be fairly judging right now. But am I the only one who really hates Rin? All of the other aspects of the book are good, but Rin just annoys me SO much. Half the time she’s a total wimp, the other half she’s a complete jerk, she’s ALWAYS  extremely unreasonable… She’s freakin’ bipolar, it seems like. And not in a way I can understand. I got Enna- in EB, even when she wasn’t making sense, I got it. I felt like her. But Rin doesn’t really work for me. I love all the other characters in this book, maybe even more than I did in the other books. The writing is exquisite, yes. But Rin’s kind of ruining it for me.

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I finally just went ahead and killed them

Jakin and Emmaline were ticking me off, so I decided to kill them just as they were declaring their ardently passionate love for one another.

Just as his deep brown eyes widened with soft surprise and delight, a terrible realization hit Emmaline. While he was spewing forth sweet, romantic things, he’d lost control of the steering wheel and they were recklessly close to the edge of the cliff. Her terrified glance out the window hinted that just maybe something was wrong. He looked out the window and uttered a most unmasculine squeal, reaching for the wheel. Maybe I don’t love him quite so much, she thought for a brief second, if he can sound like that. She quickly pushed such an unfair thought out of her mind- she probably didn’t sound too dignified either- and decided she really did love him.
As the lovely storm-tossed blue of the ocean below came rushing up to meet the pickup truck, she lunged forward in her seat, attempting to hold onto Jakin in her last moments. The seatbelt locked her in place, restraining her. The instant before she went underwater, she bitterly thought, “Now I’ll never even get a chance to hug him. Man, life really sucks.” She didn’t have time to be properly tragic, so she died with a look of sheer annoyance on her face.
Later they fished her out, bloated and purple, with a large crane. “Here’s a dead one!” a man in a ridiculous little yellow hat called out. “But I think the one who’s a more blueish shade is still alive. Probably too stubborn to die.”
Yes, he always was like that, thought Lexi as she came running. Too stubborn to die with the girl we all knew he loved. She raced to his side and knelt next to him. “Jakin!” she shouted. “Are you all right?”
Coughing and spluttering, he sat up. “Of course I’m not all right!” he gagged. “I just went diving off a cliff and the girl I love it-“ his face changed from hurt and irritable to a mask of horror. “EMMALINE!” He collapsed on her lifeless body, sobbing hysterically. Then he caught sight of her once-lovely, soft face, now a delicate shade of purple and horribly mutated. With a mixture of sorrow and disgust written on his face, he stood up and gathered himself with a slightly more dignified air. Lexi groaned. She’d seen that look on his face before. It was the same look he had the time as a toddler she had smashed his model airplane, the look on his face when she’d fallen down the stairs and nearly died. It was the look of sheer madness. “Lexi,” he said very calmly, “Please tell mom I forgot to lock the back door when I left like she’s always telling me not to. Make sure you lock up before bed.
Tears rushed to her eyes. “Jakin,” she implored “Stop it.”
He paid her no heed. He stood up straight and tall, with a very calm look on his face. Then, he pinched his nose but seemed to think better of it.  He crouched down low then jumped off the side of the boat. “And don’t you dare come in after me!” he shouted on the way down.
Who was Lexi to disobey the person she loved the most?


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Do leaves ever wish they were closer

To the solid strength of their roots

And do clouds ever tire of the endless blue sky?

And what happens when the person

You always imagined yourself to be

Fades and deepens and changes

Into a stranger you’re not sure you like?


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What happens when you interview Hope

Okay, so I’m babysitting Hope for my mom while she and Mercy are shopping. I decide to take advantage of the moment and interview her.

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Q. What’s a baby shouter?
A. Baby shouters go “Thbt! Thbt!” and march away and kill people.

Q. Okay. What are the names of your baby dolls?
A. Sarah and Max. (Sidenote: Both are female)

Q. Where did you get them?
A. Sarah’s parents were going to the beach and pirates killed them. God tried to get them back but they didn’t rise again. Sarah cried on the beach and the pirates said “Ho ho ho, you will never see your parents again!” and marched away. I heard her crying on the beach and took her home to my mommy. She fed her some juice. Oh yeah, and she was in her father’s beach tent when she was crying.

Max was in the garbage can.

Q. What’s your favorite food?
A. Spaghetti. I have some in my fridge. Do you want some?
Q. Mm, thanks for the spaghetti. What’s your favorite color?

A. Blue. You can do the dishes.
Q. In a minute. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
A. James.

Q. Why?
A. Because he’s a nice guy.

Q. What makes him a nice guy? (genuinely curious)
A. He’s special. Look, it’s James now! Time for your piano lesson, James!

Q. *lets Hope pretend to give James a piano lesson while she thinks of another question* Okay. OH NO! It’s the pirate! What does he say?
A. Grr. I killed your baby. Here’s your baby and some money. My pirates are gonna come tie you up and kill you.

Q. So what do you tell the pirates?
A. Tie her up NOW and kill her to death! I just found out she will marry a suit of armor!

Q. I will?
A. Yes. He’s here now.

This interview is not going like I expected it to.

Q. What if I want to marry someone else? (this one just slipped out)
A. You have to give THAT wish back to God. The armor’s name is “Shut Up and he won the Contest for the Queen so you have to marry him”. He has a unicorn for you. *thinks for a minute* No, actually, he doesn’t.

Q. How do you bake a cake?
A. Put a crust in a crusty bowl, mix it with milk and a kazoo, and last bake a baby in it.

Q. What would you do if a lion was chasing you?
A. *screams into a kazoo by way of reply* Pretend you’re a lion. Say “roar!” Okay. And I say- *screams into a kazoo again at ear-piercing intervals* And now you say, “I am going back to my cave.”

Q. Wow. Remind me to leave you alone if I’m a lion. What do you like to do for fun?
A. Play with kids and Micky. Now, a boy wants to marry me and he’s a king, so I have to go.

Q. Wait! I want to tell people something. Why exactly do you love me so much?

Sadly, this question did not receive an answer besides an eyeroll and her stomping off to play with Max. Then Mom and Mercy got home and she was too distracted to answer me.


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It makes no sense

I really can’t help but ask myself sometimes….

Why do they always lie?


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Title suggestions?

Locked and alone in a dingy, dimly lit bedroom

and each time I look out my window

I see nothing but green and gold and blue in radiant comparison.

I want to step out my window

Onto my roof, and jump out into all those colours.

I can do it- I know I could take off and fly into the blue

yet each time I step out onto the edge I turn around

and return to the grey world of civilization.

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