Monthly Archives: June 2009

Farewell for now.

Tonight, I came to a realization sitting at my desk eating frosted flakes and cheezits in my pajamas, taking facebook quizzes, writing, and listening to Taylor Swift singing off-key.

I really have no life.

I don’t particularly mind- I rather enjoy my pointless existance. But there’s a dilemma with having no life.

As sad as it is, people don’t really care what you’re up to on facebook, they don’t REALLY care what the lyrics to your favorite song are, there’s only so much Taylor Swift you can talk about. I don’t like sharing most of my writing. And, saddest of all, no one finds it interesting that you find cheezits and frosted flakes to be the ultimate combination.

As much as I love my life, it’s not really blogging material. Each time I find something to blog about- something beautiful I saw the other day, a quote I found inspiring, something I thought of in the wee hours of the morning- I end up deciding it’s too personal and special to be easily shared in typed words on a computer screen. Some things in life just can’t really be said online, and the things I do feel like sharing online are too short to make into a blog post, or too complex to explain in only a blog post. So at the moment, Twitter and Facebook are just easier ways to say what I want to tell people online. I think I’ve decided that for the summer I won’t blog that much, if at all. In the fall I might come back and we’ll see. Until then, just feel free to add me on facebook (Faith Crews, of course) or Twitter (I’m geekspawn.)

I do love you bloggers and I’ve had a great time blogging, but it’s not that practical right now. I’ll keep in touch with you guys in other ways :)

(Oh, and another note- I’m taking a LRRH break. I’ll be back eventually and still check once in a while, but I just need to quit for a while. The site has changed a lot and I kidd of miss the old days. I will always be a LRRHer, though :) I may not be there, but I’m with you! Wow. That was cheesy. Lol whatever.)

Bye for the summer, Faith.

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Stranger passing by

I’m not sure what it is about the road by Lapaglia Farms that I’ve fallen in love with.

Each time we go past, I first see that single house- cream and red tiled roof against the sky

and the green of their crops- I think it’s alfalfa-  and the old battered sign on the fence.

Then, just one cornfield and a dirt plot down the road, you can usually find a woman,

sitting in a plastic chair by a table piled high with watermelons or oranges.

Weekdays  it’s just her, but on the weekends,

a minivan is parked by the tall, collapsable canopy that covers the table,

and a man and othe woman sit with her.

Some days, across the intersection is a woman with a baby, a baby with thick black hair and the sweetest chubby cheeks.

They sell corn, sitting in the open back of their van. I always want to pull over,

sit down, and talk to these people. I want to get to know them.

I drive past them almost every day, and to me they are part of my life- always there, something I can depend on in a way.

But they don’t know I exist- to them, I’m just another person in a silver minivan who isn’t stopping.

Instead I watch when, on very rare occasion, another car pulls over to by something-

probably more out of charity than anything else.

Funny how the seemingly invisible, insignificant people in life can be noticed and mean something, to a stranger just passing by.

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Fossils and dead fish

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Just Fossils

Driving through a vast quilt of desert woven from all shades of tan and olive-

While green and red begin to tint the earth

Emptiness momentarily consumes my thoughts.

I miss them.

No. Snap out of it.

Desert turns to pine trees.

Driving through trees, over hills, and under blue skies.

We’re Geocaching-

Cheap junk hidden like treasures,

as if treasure could be found with only a GPS.

One hill we search by is covered in fossils.

On that hillside, I accidentally step on one and watch all those years crumble

beneath my new, blue Converse.

The drive home is full of thoughts.

Swooping around a mountain we stumble on a view, taking my breath away.

It’s almost like flying, and crossing back

into the desert I sigh.

Here, I can feel free and fearless again.

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Writing Excitement

My summer writing project is going SO WELL. It’s making me very happy at the moment. I’ve been getting my goals completed every day- right now my goal is only 500 words a day if I’m noveling or a poem and a half if I’m just doing a poetry part- and that’s exciting. I know it’s not a very big goal, but finishing a lot of little goals is proving easier than setting huge goals for myself and getting discouraged. And I really think it’s good writing, too. I don’t know that I’ll be sharing it yet as some of it is really personal for me, but I may someday. It’s just a project for myself, but it’s going well and I’m getting a lot of good practice.

Just thought I’d share my happiness with y’all. :)

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Flashback

Flashback At first, it appears to be like any other dream. It seems so absurd, so impossibly ridiculous, that it almost makes me laugh. After all, why would I be sitting in the back seat of a car driving through a rocky road, overlooking the ocean- by cliffs with a huge playset to be used as means to get over the towering cliffs? But I look more closely. It doesn’t seem to be a playset, on inspection. Crisscrossing ropes, some as thick around as my waist, work their way up one cliff, then down across a deep pool of water, and end in a wooden ladder, leading down another cliff. And on the top of each cliff is a person. It’s too far away to see who the people are, but they all seem familiar, and with each person we drive by a strange feeling comes over me, different for every one. Memories flash through my mind, but then pass to quickly for me to remember what they were. As we drive on, they replay in my mind, like a word on the tip of my tongue I can’t remember. Just as I think I’ve got it, it passes away. The land is morphing into something different. The ocean behind the cliffs is getting milder, and the sky is lightening from the previous shades of grey to a brighter blue. The beaches are getting sandier and the cliffs and boulders become smaller and more scarce, until they almost all disappear. Buildings rise up in the distance, bright and beautiful with orange and pink exotic-looking flowers planted in front of each. One building is familiar. The largest hotel I’d ever seen, white and red. All of a sudden the buildings make way, letting me see a glimpse of the ocean behind them. The sun is setting on the beach, and two figures, no more than dark shapes but still very clear, are holding each other and laughing. But before I can say anything, the car drives on. I lean out the window, looking back to the ocean, but the buildings close up again, hiding it from view. I’m crying, because something inside me knows I can’t go back. I realize there is someone sitting in the seat next to me, but they don’t try to stop me as I cry and lean as far out the window as I can. The wind blows my hair into my face and sand and tears mix in my eyes until combined with the wind they feel like they’re on fire, but I don’t care. The sun on my face, tilted towards the sky, feels warm and comforting, until the tears stop and are replaced with a strange feeling, not of acceptance, or sorrow, but something very different. The sun suddenly sets completely, and the sky goes black. The memory ends abruptly, and I sit up, see the familiar surroundings of my room, the cat curled up on my favorite pillow, the bookshelves with my favorite knick knacks and books, the light shining reassuringly through my window. I look up and see my handwriting, scrawling black marker covering my window, the words to my favorite songs standing out against the blue of the sky and the green of the trees. But that unidentified feeling lingers, and I sit for a long time, remembering the feel of the sun on my face and the taste of tears and sand. But soon the memory fades, and there is nothing left but a terrible want for something, a desire I can’t name but can’t forget, either.

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short “update”

I know, I know. I’m a bad blogger. But I’ve been totally swamped the last few days. I’m sorry, really! But I’ll be back to blogging soon. I think.

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